Why We Should Consider Equal Shared Parenting Now

July 18, 2020
Parents walking with children

Imagine a life where you don’t have to work more than half of the household chores or no need to earn for all the expenses. Also, you can keep time for your hobbies or passion. That means you have enough time for yourself. Well, if you are assuming this is not possible in real life. Then let me introduce you to equal shared parenting. 

Those days are gone when only mothers used to take care of their children. And the fathers were the back seat drivers of the family. Now, both of the parents share the responsibilities between them. 

In short, the idea is to share the parenting responsibilities between father and mother irrespective of any conflict between them. The ratio of this should be equal so that children don’t get deprived of parental care. The situation of sharing may vary in the pre-divorce and post-divorce scenario. But the couple should decide to share their mutual duties equally according to day and time. 

The Common Perception of Parenting

For thousands of years, we have been living in a male-dominated society where men made all the rules and norms. The parenting and the principles in conjugal life are not an exception. In a conventional family with a child, we see a man work and take rest after coming back from work. 

On the other hand, the lady does her office work and tries to maintain the children along with the household works. The traditional view does not recognize hard work or women. On top of that, men don’t take part in household tasks, let alone taking care of children. 

However, in the new world order, we see many couples are opting to follow equal shared parenting. Because there are many benefits to this. Man and women both can have a proper rest, and it becomes easier to balance family and job.

Aspects of Equal Shared Parenting

Well, parents are responsible for the development, wellbeing, education, and safety of the children no matter what.

The family Law Act of 1975 defines parental responsibility as “All the duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which, by law, parents have in relation to children.”

One of the key features of parental responsibility is to make decisions about the children’s future lives. The decisions include:

  • Current and future education of the children
  • Medical issues management
  • Religious and cultural views
  • Name changing

Advantages of Equal Shared Parenting

Well, you may think that the whole idea is just an extension of the feminist views of the modern world. But this is not the case. Equal shared parenting means doing what is fair for both. To balance your life by sharing the care for children springing from both mother and father. It is not difficult to find the advantages of equal shared parenting. Here are some of the most visible benefits of shared parenting-

Two is Better Than One

Parents taking care of the child - Equal shared parenting

The most crucial advantage of shared parenting is the child gets both of their parents. They can learn from the father and the mother separately. An African proverb “it takes a village to raise a child”. A single mother or father cannot provide full safety and ensure a better future for the children. If both the parents work together for the betterment of their children, it is good for everyone. 

Children’s Parent’s Closeness

The biggest blessing for the children is to be closer to their parents. The care of the parents means more important than anything to them. In shared parenting, children get time from both the parents. They don’t feel the lack of mother or father. As a result, children remain happy all the time.

Quality Wins over Quantity

Parents quality time with the child - Equal shared parenting

When there is no shared parenting, any one of the parents doesn’t do his/her duty properly. On the other hand, in shared parenting, the parents try to improve themselves as parents. They put quality over quantity. As they share everything, the parents spend quality time with their children. They don’t feel burdened. 

Competitive Parenting Benefits Children

Competitive Parenting - Equal shared parenting

Equally, shared parenting engages the parents in a competition. They try to perform better than the other in taking care of the children, managing household chores, helping each other, and so on. As a result, children get a better life. Children get benefitted in the long run. 

Improved Living Standard

Parents and children - Equal shared parenting

Where there is no share and compromise in conjugal life, the living standard gets hampered. On the other side of the coin, there shared parenting improves the overall living standard of the family. Because here, both the parent’s works, get time for rest, for themselves. So, this influences the living standard, and children enjoy a better life.

Financial Solvency

Piggy bank and coins- Equal shared parenting

When the parents get separated both or any one of them may face financial problems. In equally shared parenting, this ratio is quite low. Because of the sharing of financial resources, they can help each other. As a result, children don’t face a financial crisis.  

Two Homes for Children

Well, this is true for the children of broken families. They get two separate living homes. They get access to a better lifestyle. Moreover, they will have a better experience in life. Two homes mean two different circumstances, surroundings, neighbors, and locality. In one place, they might get the facility to play computer games, and on the other, they might get a chance to play outdoor games or walk into a park. However, this might create a feeling of missing in their heart as well if they love one particular home more than the other. 

Happy Father, Mother & Children

Parents passing family time with children - Equal shared parenting

Togetherness creates happiness. When the children see their parents are sharing enough time with them, taking care of them, they will become happy. So, it is important that parents stay together.

Moreover, some fathers want to spend time with their children as well. So, the fathers will also become happy to spend time with their children. And when the mother notices she can have enough time for herself, she can get enough rest and will be happier too. 

  • Besides these, there are some other benefits: 
  • Strong bondage with family
  • Children take responsibility for life
  • Psychological and social well being.
  • Children perform well at school
  • They will not do drugs or drink.
  • Less possibility of anxiety, depression, or mental stress

However, as there are a lot of amazing facts of equal shared parenting, there are some bad effects of single parenting. Because taking care of the children, single-handedly is no easy task. Children may develop many false ideas inside their brains. Then it will hamper their mental health. The lack of security, mental support of single parenting might cause:

  • Homelessness
  • Mental disorder
  • Criminal offense
  • School dropouts
  • Teenage suicides

Equal Shared Parenting for Every Family

To wrap it up, I would say equal shared parenting means sharing everything between the husband and wife. To balance our lives for the betterment of the children, parents should share the responsibilities between them. They should share tasks like breadwinning, homework, child raising, and time for themselves. 

However, it is not easy to implement this in our life. As our society does not approve, it can be a hard-won thing. But once the parents are comfortable with this, they can be happy in this pattern of life. Most importantly, you work half and get a life full of fun. The ultimate goal of life is to lead a happy life. And in conjugal life, equal shared parenting can bring happiness to your life. 

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